Woke up bright and early on a Sunday morning (today that is), and went out for my morning run. Though a little later than usual, an 8am run welcomed me to many things. Met a wonderful person who grew up in my home town of Macon, GA (small world), kids and pets were out and chipper, and there was a buzz about the city that I hadn't seen in a while.
2 miles into my run, I recognized today was the 25th annual AIDS WALK LOS ANGELES. Thousands of people filled the streets of all backgrounds, beliefs, and places. Men, women, children, families, uncles, aunts, grandmas, you name it. I had never walked in a march before and was amazed at how orchestrated any fair, parade or march needs to be. There are so many moving parts. I never realized a message so powerful could put a city on its feet, and bring a world to its knees.
I'm reminded of my Aunt Viv, a nurse who took care of a man dying with AIDS in the early 90's when we were still discovering what this 4 letter word was all about, and how to best treat or prevent, and hopefully someday cure. She said his entire family left him to die alone - and he had no one. During many of her rotations, and during his last days, she sat with him for hours and hours, held his hand, and refused to let him be alone as he moved from one plane to another. She held him as if he were a brother and didn't let him go. She told me this story when I was in the grocery store and I sobbed and sobbed - right there in the middle of the store. I'm absolutely inspired by stories of love and courage such as this. Not labels, not condemnation, for who are we to judge what' right or wrong - or what kind of love is right or wrong. She simply loved and cared for him. That's all.
ON THE OTHER HAND, coming back from my run, I was greeted by a group of men with moustaches, flannel shirts and boots of some kind - shouting and yelling on bull horns that people were going to hell. 2 of them walked up to me and handed me a business card that said GET OUT OF HELL FOR FREE. Interesting greeting but ok. I guess they assumed things about me based on looks.
I took the card and said "I'm fine - and the pages of the good book that I did get right were waking up with happy and loving my neighbor." To that he replied that I'm going to hell and it had nothing to do with happiness. It had to do w/ holiness. This is someone I've never even met - who placed a label on my head because of an appearance and an assumption. And clearly holiness and happiness do not co-exist in his mind.
All of my life I've dealt with labels and I've recognized that I'm me, I'm here as I am, and I live a happy, joyous life. As a kid I wasn't supposed to play with dolls or crochet, I was beaten up every day in school, had my school supplies taken and thrown around, and used to pay a little black boy 25cents a day to protect me from the bullies. I quickly learned that I'm an amazing negotiator and he and I became fast friends. Roberto I still love you to this day. You saved me many stomach punches.
Over the years I've realized something about labels. You pick up a book, look at a cover and think you know its content without diving in, investing time, or committing to the story.
Labels are quick, easy and safe. It means you don't have to get close. You can stay at arms length. How that plays out in my professional role - is that when clients are with me - whatever they label me as - they appreciate who I am. I have a little over 400 clients - most of them women - and they know that for 2 hours, they are safe with me. They laugh, we tell funny jokes, we order lunch together and they say "This is better than being at a bar and getting hit on." To me - that is the ultimate compliment - that someone feels safe, loved and beautiful.
Aunt Viv, on behalf of the thousands walking today - you are truly a woman of passion, courage AND LOVE. Thank you for the inspiration. I dedicate this post, and this day to you.
Your Billy